I'm pressed for time. I want more time. These desires have been gushed out my mind since I had given birth to my children.
I see that it doesn't go well with them not to erase my own will. However, I wish to do something, I'm often interrupted by them and after all I have to abandon my work.
Sometimes the existence of them make me have the blues. Certainly I love them well, but once in a while I wish they would disappear from my vision in a flash.
The situation of making a living has not been changed even since we moved to America from Japan. My husband doesn't get back home earlier than before. I have to do house work, cooking and child-rearing by myself. I fight a battle with my children from morning till they go to sleep everyday.
Do not bend your back Masayo, otherwise a tear will trickle down your cheek.....I believe you are not a coward.
Actually I want more time for studying English, writing an essay, writing a novel, playing a piano, or drawing a picture. But I'm a mother of my children. The most important duty for me is to be their mother. I get priorities right and try to go to bed by one o'clock.
In my school days, I had a special friend, he often gave me meaningful words. One day he said to me, "Don't complain that you have no time. Make time. I believe that you can make time surely". These words have been imprinted in my mind deeply.
I don't want to lose his words and myself. However, sometimes I let these words slip by and think that I have no time. But I can't surrender to time, nor to his words.
I believe that I can make time and I can make my dreams come true.
Come on ! My children are calling me now.